Calm Isn’t Pretending That Everything’s Fine

After years of reacting to every crisis with panic, I’ve learned that calm — and grit — are the real marks of leadership.

I used to think staying calm during a business crisis was something other people did — the kind of entrepreneurs who somehow manage to keep their composure while the world around them is on fire. That wasn’t me. When things went sideways, I’d lose sleep, pace the floors, and worry myself sick. But something’s changed over time. Maybe it’s experience. Perhaps it’s just having lived through enough storms to realize that panic never helps.

The recent government shutdown was a good test. Since 93 percent of our revenue is tied to the SBA program, the shutdown hit us hard. During a shutdown, we can still close loans that already have SBA loan numbers issued — and we always try to obtain as many of those as possible ahead of time — but we cannot issue new numbers. Once that pool of pre-approved loans runs dry, everything at the SBA effectively comes to a standstill. While this does not stop our work, it causes delays for borrowers, slows down deals from closing, and there is no honest way to give predictable close dates.

A few years ago, that would have sent me into a tailspin. I would have been up all night, climbing the walls, imagining worst-case scenarios. This time, I was, of course, concerned. We put a few projects and hiring plans on hold. However, I also remained relatively calm and focused. I didn’t feel that same sense of panic. I just kept moving forward. I think part of what’s helped is running the EO Grit WhatsApp community, a place for EO members who are going through hard times. Grit is a community where members get support from each other as they work through their challenges, often joining smaller groups and discussions on specific topics. About half of the members are in Grit looking for help, and the others are in there to offer support.

Every day, I find about six inspirational quotes to share there. It’s the first thing I do in the morning and the last thing I do before bed. That ritual grounds me. Some people meditate or keep a journal. I’ve never been able to get into either. But it turns out this rhythm — this small daily habit of looking for words that might help someone else — has helped me, too.

Perspective also helps. Our first child was born 10 and a half weeks early. I keep a picture in my office drawer of me holding him in the palm of my hand, with tubes running all through his tiny body. Whenever I think I’m having a bad day, I look at that picture, and suddenly, everything feels manageable.

Almost all of us have gone through a family or personal health crisis. We got through Covid, too. Somehow, we survived one of the most disruptive times any business owner could imagine. Remembering that helps me keep today’s challenges in perspective. And as a leader, staying calm isn’t just about managing my own emotions — it’s about showing strength to my team.

They’re watching how I respond. If I panic, they’ll panic. But I also think it’s important to be honest. I tell them when things are tough. I don’t sugarcoat reality, but I try to pair it with confidence that we’ll find a way through. Calm isn’t pretending everything’s fine. It’s acknowledging the challenge while reminding everyone, including yourself, that you’ve handled worse.

Crises still come, and they still sting. But I’ve learned that calm doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you’ve built the muscle to stay steady when things get shaky. That muscle is called grit — and like any muscle, it gets stronger every time it’s tested.